If you’re hoping this is the post where I tell you there is a magic cure for waking up exhausted, then I am sorry to disappoint you. There is no little known secret way (as far as I know) to power through the day when you wake up feeling like you need to sleep for a month. But I digress, as there’s no point talking about something that doesn’t exist.
Today has been a hard day, a trying day where I woke up wondering whether it was even worth the trouble of getting out of bed. No, this is not laziness as some people may presume, but instead the dragging exhaustion that comes with being chronically fatigued due to the multiple illnesses my body is trying to handle.
Currently, my worst symptoms are coming from my bladder (pain and peeing a million times a day), pelvis (uterus seems to be intent on continually spring cleaning itself), shoulder (well it’s dislocated, so no surprises there) and my back (because my spine is wonky, but that’s a whole ‘nother post I need to write). So yes, you could say there is a lot going on.
I woke this morning groggy and feeling like I hadn’t slept, which is partly true considering my bladder has been getting me out of bed through the night lately. But I had work to go to, so there was no option of staying in bed and turning myself into a duvet burrito (yes it’s a thing – Google it).
So up and out of bed I got, dragged myself through the shower and made myself look pretty. Wasn’t until I got to breakfast, and then to work, that people began telling me how pale I looked. Uh oh, pale is never a good sign considering I have an English Rose complexion on a good day.
Somehow I made it through work, got my brain to function by drinking plenty of water and inhaling jellybeans at my desk, caught the bus home and am now sitting in front of my laptop writing this.
People may read this and say ‘well, if she made it to work things can’t be that bad!), but that’s a matter of personal opinion I guess. When you walk in and your Boss asks you what is wrong and comments on how pale and washed out you look, there must be something quite wrong if they’ve noticed. I usually do my best to hide the effect my symptoms have on me and carry on, but some days it just isn’t possible to hide it all without having some outward visible signs that today isn’t a good day.
Right now, my body feels cold, drained and heavy. I feel like I need to sleep for a month solid to have some kind of life brought back into me. Although in the back of my mind, I know that sleep just doesn’t seem to give me the energy and refreshed feeling it used to about 5 years before I was diagnosed. There really is something funky that being chronically ill does to your sleep, that’s for sure!
Ugh, don’t feel like this post really has a point, so I’ll leave it here. Maybe I’ll come back when my brain feels a little less sluggish, and try to post something a bit more eloquently written.