Chronic Illness, Health, Hospital, Interstitial Cystitis, Surgery, Uncategorized

An Ode to Botox

I have had a neurotoxin injected, into a muscle that has over-reacted.

My bladder is constantly in spasm, and I wanted to throw it into a chasm.

So off I walked into surgery, in the hopes of relieving my purgatory.

Not having Botox injected into my face, but instead in my bladder which seems a strange place.

A very long and large needle they used, afterwards my bladder felt a little abused.

As I awoke in a hospital bed after the event, I hoped that my bladder would now be repentant.

That it would relax and behave as it should do, so that I wouldn’t have to spend so much time in the loo!

So far so good although it’s early days, my bladder is learning to behave in new ways.

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Chronic Illness, Health, Hospital, Interstitial Cystitis, My Story, Surgery

Why I’m Excited About Having A Very Sharp Needle Inject A Neurotoxin Into My Bladder

At the end of this week, I will be heading into an operating theatre again.  This will be the seventh operating theatre I’ve seen the inside of in the last 3 and a bit years.  I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that, knowing that I’ll be subjecting my body to it’s 7th general anaesthetic…

This time surgery is not for my Endometriosis, but instead for a procedure to hopefully help with my Interstitial Cystitis symptoms.

This surgical procedure is known as Intravesical Botox.  In English, that basically means having a very sharp needle introduced into your bladder to inject Botox into the bladder muscle.  The science behind it means it works by paralysing the bladder to an extent so that it’s not so overactive and doesn’t spasm all the time like mine is currently doing.

Sounds pretty nasty, right?  I hear you asking  ‘how can she be looking forward to that?’

The simple answer is – I’m looking forward to symptom relief.  I can’t wait to live without constant bladder pain, to visit the bathroom less than a million times a day and just for my bladder to feel more comfortable and less like it’s constantly bouncing up and down inside of me.

I have had this procedure done once before, and it did give me excellent symptom relief, so I am hoping for the same to be true this time around.  Interstitial Cystitis is a truly horrible thing to live with, so any relief is more than welcome in my book!

Bring on Friday!

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Chronic Illness, Endometriosis, Health, Interstitial Cystitis, The Present

Making It Through Friday When You’re Exhausted

If you’re hoping this is the post where I tell you there is a magic cure for waking up exhausted, then I am sorry to disappoint you.  There is no little known secret way (as far as I know) to power through the day when you wake up feeling like you need to sleep for a month.  But I digress, as there’s no point talking about something that doesn’t exist.

Today has been a hard day, a trying day where I woke up wondering whether it was even worth the trouble of getting out of bed.  No, this is not laziness as some people may presume, but instead the dragging exhaustion that comes with being chronically fatigued due to the multiple illnesses my body is trying to handle.

Currently, my worst symptoms are coming from my bladder (pain and peeing a million times a day), pelvis (uterus seems to be intent on continually spring cleaning itself), shoulder (well it’s dislocated, so no surprises there) and my back (because my spine is wonky, but that’s a whole ‘nother post I need to write).  So yes, you could say there is a lot going on.

I woke this morning groggy and feeling like I hadn’t slept, which is partly true considering my bladder has been getting me out of bed through the night lately.  But I had work to go to, so there was no option of staying in bed and turning myself into a duvet burrito (yes it’s a thing – Google it).

So up and out of bed I got, dragged myself through the shower and made myself look pretty.  Wasn’t until I got to breakfast, and then to work, that people began telling me how pale I looked.  Uh oh, pale is never a good sign considering I have an English Rose complexion on a good day.

Somehow I made it through work, got my brain to function by drinking plenty of water and inhaling jellybeans at my desk, caught the bus home and am now sitting in front of my laptop writing this.

People may read this and say ‘well, if she made it to work things can’t be that bad!), but that’s a matter of personal opinion I guess.  When you walk in and your Boss asks you what is wrong and comments on how pale and washed out you look, there must be something quite wrong if they’ve noticed.  I usually do my best to hide the effect my symptoms have on me and carry on, but some days it just isn’t possible to hide it all without having some outward visible signs that today isn’t a good day.

Right now, my body feels cold, drained and heavy.  I feel like I need to sleep for a month solid to have some kind of life brought back into me.  Although in the back of my mind, I know that sleep just doesn’t seem to give me the energy and refreshed feeling it used to about 5 years before I was diagnosed.  There really is something funky that being chronically ill does to your sleep, that’s for sure!

Ugh, don’t feel like this post really has a point, so I’ll leave it here.  Maybe I’ll come back when my brain feels a little less sluggish, and try to post something a bit more eloquently written.

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